Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet

pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's

chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and

sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has

passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean

you haven't done any testing on him or anything.

He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black

Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on

in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his

front paws on the examination table and sniffed the

duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the

vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out

of the room. A few minutes later he returned with

a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately

sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back

on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and

strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,

but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,

a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"

she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The

vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my

word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the

Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

very good