The Stella Awards

I dont know if any are true but i found them amusing anyway.


Stella Awards

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with
these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico ,
where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee
and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one
could get burned doing that, right? That' s right; these are awards for the
most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of
andy.


Here are the Stellas for the past year:

*SEVENTH PLACE*

kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by
the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!


* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...


* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he
had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the
automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage
door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of
Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the
insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all
have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching.. There are more......

Double hand scratching after this one.....


*FOURTH PLACE*

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's
when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the
butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a
chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked
for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the
time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the
yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled
soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the
floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during
an argument.

Only two more so ease up on the scratching....


*SECOND PLACE*

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through
the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said
the night club had to pay her $12,000.....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.

Ok. Here we go!!


* FIRST PLACE *

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs... Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago
motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven
on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the
owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the
cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting
down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals
as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who
might also buy a motor home.

Only in America !!.....

Ha ha, it had to be posted, thats so mental